This post is a first draft of a sermon that I have the opportunity to preach in an upcoming worship service. I’m currently in the preaching class in the Diakonia program. I’d been thinking over the day’s Gospel reading for some days, and found that I ended up going in a different direction than I’d intended. What I think I’ve been learning so far is to let the living Word speak for itself, and speak through me. Not some kind of stump speech, or sales pitch, if I’m supposed to be a means of grace.

So, I guess, I can’t really have any idea how well I’ve done. Though I pray this amplifies the Gospel for whomever will hear it, and that it serves that purpose on the appointed day.

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This week’s readings seem to have a lot to say about the meaning of “promise”. About having a long view of things. We’re always in need of hope. Present struggles. Wondering what the future holds. There are lots of “get rich quick” schemes, self-help books, and all sorts of things that offer us a promise, but how dependable is it? At what cost? Can we get there from here? They’re tempting because we want to see results now. What if real strength and serenity we seek, lie in something else?

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Following Christ is like feast or famine. There are times when everything is quiet and still. Times when God’s face might even be hidden from you. Those dark nights of the soul make me think of an astronaut’s space walk. Inside your thick, padded, insulated suit, it’s just a simple tether that links you to your vessel. I bet you, the gloves are so thick that you can’t even feel that simple strap. Floating in space. Not feeling your tether. Of course you’re connected, but maybe with a strange sense of being on your own.

Or there are times when it’s all too much to bear. You hand yourself over to God for His use, and lo and behold, He takes you up on the offer! Maybe you’re in learning mode, and God sees to it that you have plenty of opportunities to learn. As in right now – let’s go!

As I tried to reflect on the scriptures this week, it was a pretty rough exercise for me. I don’t know if it’s just the challenge and mystery of Advent, but it was hard to figure out what was standing out to me in these readings. Kind of like being floating in space, not really feeling anything especially concrete or grounding. But my friend Linda recently shared with me about living under the Word. Kind of abstract, but yet, I’ve been learning over these months that it’s not so much about writing something fabulous, but really about dwelling within the Word. Spending time and thought to somehow walk with the scriptures, and finding that it really affects my worship, and my thoughts over the week. Anyway, hopefully you might find something interesting here….

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My friend, Pastor Jeff, invited me to share a sermon with his congregation at St. John’s, an ELCA congregation in a nearby town. This is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. So exciting, and progressively more nervewracking as the time drew near. The deed is done – I proclaimed last Sunday, October 30. As I was posting it here and re-reading it along the way, I had plenty of thoughts of “ugh!”. But after a bit, some thoughts of “oh, I’m glad I shared that.” Overall I have good feelings about the experience. Enough so that it seems I need to explore this aspect of ministry a bit more. I don’t know that I *want* to preach, but maybe I have some gifts that are useful for it. Ultimately, it’s difficult to gauge, because unless I manage to take a class in preaching some day, there really aren’t any opportunities to explore it.

I kept myself a little calmer on Sunday morning by reminding myself over and over that it’s not me. I’m not manufacturing anything here, nor performing. I’m only offering myself for God to use as He sees fit. I’m taking the leap of faith by walking into the unknown, and that’s really all I could have hoped for – to be used by God for service. And even after doing it, I really don’t have much idea what happened. I did get some compliments, but that could be for just about anything. What sort of means of grace was I that morning? I suppose I can’t ever really know to what extent, so again, I take it on faith that things worked unto good.

Some background – Sunday was October 30, 2011, and Reformation Sunday. St. John was celebrating their Consecration Sunday as a part of their stewardship drive. So, I was the guest preacher, speaking on stewardship, and at the end of the service, they were to fill out and turn in pledge cards. The readings for the day were Jeremiah 31:31-34, Psalm 46, Romans 3:19-28, and John 8:31-36. Naturally I ended up focusing on the Old Testament reading. I need to come to terms with my Christological issues one of these days……

Anyway, here goes….

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